What to write in a couple book: a method for choosing your memories

Every love story has a beginning, and it is the first page of your book. Before you write, ask yourself three questions.

• ✦ Where? Not just the city: the line outside the movie theater, a shared kitchen, the platform of a subway line.
• ✦ What was the first sentence? Even a dull one. "Got a light?" or "Is this seat taken?" often make the best openings.
• ✦ What did you notice first? A laugh that was too loud, a yellow sweater, the way they held a glass.

If you can't remember who spoke first, ask your partner. The two versions often differ, and that difference can become a scene of its own.

A good book chooses. Thirty memories means thirty lines each: you skim, nothing sticks. Five memories told in detail make a real story, with a beginning, some trials and what comes next.

To sort them, keep the moments that answer one of these questions: what changed that day? What do you still tell your friends? What does nobody else know? A moment that ticks no box can stay a passing mention in the story.

Think about the order, too. The book moves through time: meeting, early days, a hard stretch, life today, and a last page that looks ahead.

Firsts

• ✦ The first date: the place, what went wrong, what saved the evening.
• ✦ The first "I love you": who said it, where, and the answer.
• ✦ Meeting the in-laws: the burnt dish, the awkward question from the father.
• ✦ The first apartment: boxes, a mattress on the floor, the first shared bill.

Trips

• ✦ The first trip: the suitcase that was too heavy, the room that looked nothing like the photos.
• ✦ The disaster that became a legend: the missed train, the GPS that sent you down a dirt road.
• ✦ The place you go back to: the same beach every summer, the same restaurant every year.

Hard times you got through

• ✦ Distance: months apart, the evening calls, the reunion at the airport.
• ✦ The blow: a loss, an illness, a layoff, and how the other one was there.
• ✦ The big decision: leaving a city, changing careers, taking the leap.

Everyday rituals

• ✦ Morning coffee: who makes it, how, in which mug.
• ✦ Sundays: the market, the series, the same walk every week.
• ✦ Who does what: the one who cooks, the one who finds the keys.
• ✦ The gesture that says it all: a hand on the shoulder, a note on the fridge.

Inside jokes

• ✦ The nickname: where it comes from, what it really means.
• ✦ The catchphrase: the one you have repeated for years and nobody else gets.
• ✦ The pet, the plant or the object: the cat that sleeps between you, the surviving cactus, the couch you never replaced.

Plans ahead

• ✦ The promised trip: the one you have talked about since the start.
• ✦ The dream house: the garden, the extra room, the dog.
• ✦ The question: a proposal on the last page, if the time is right.

The same memories make very different books depending on the tone. You choose one while telling your story.

• ✦ Romantic: for a declaration, an anniversary, a proposal.
• ✦ Funny: for couples who tease each other and whose best memories are disasters.
• ✦ Emotional: for a couple who came through something hard, or a long-standing wedding anniversary.
• ✦ Cinematic: to tell your story like a film, with suspense and big scenes.

• ✦ Telling everything: ten trips summed up in one line each are worth less than one trip told in detail.
• ✦ Staying vague: "a wonderful weekend" gives nothing to draw. "The cabin with no power where it rained for three days" gives a scene.
• ✦ Forgetting concrete details: a color, a dish, an exact sentence. They are what makes you say "that's us".
• ✦ Writing for other people: the book is for one person. References only the two of you get belong in it.

That's fine. The story doesn't need exact dates: "one evening in June", "the winter it snowed so much" or "the second year" are enough. What matters is the order of events and the details of each scene.

Only one date deserves to be right, if you know it: the day you met or the wedding day, if the book celebrates an anniversary. It can also go in the dedication: see our book dedication ideas.

Once your moments are chosen, all that's left is to tell them. The creation questionnaire guides you one question at a time; you add your two photos, and a free preview shows your couple drawn before you order. We then write and illustrate the book, and you review it.

For everything about the book itself, the styles, editions and occasions, read our guide to the personalized couple book.